no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,
no.
roses_rejoice

I dub thee Sir Mullet.

This morning, we kicked around the idea of going to see a jousting tournament at Medieval Times. No, I have not suddenly morphed into the kind of twit who hangs around ren faires, has gigantic prints of knights and fair ladies dominating my walls, and sends out stupid looking wedding invitations featuring castles in the clouds. I hate that stuff, and the dumb low-class people I've met who are into it just make me hate it worse. Please understand that I'm not calling EVERYONE with an interest in the medieval "dumb" or "low-class"---I know there are serious students and Patricia Kenneally-alikes out there singing madrigals in their carved bishops' chairs---it's just that several people I've personally met over the years (two of which I had the severe misfortune of dating) who were really into that stuff have tended to be on the lower end of both the socioeconomic and braininess spectra.

Anyway, late one night recently we were driving through some fast-food joint next to a few cheesy motels somewhere off Route 1 and we passed this building that looked like a castle and I said, "What the hell is THAT?" It turned out to be the local Medieval Times edifice. The kitsch value of a castle being parked smack in the middle of Applebees Land is not to be denied. I wonder if the monarch from Burger King ever drops over on a diplomatic visit? I proceeded to forget about it till I picked up a brochure from the airport featuring pictures of some of the knights (likely the better-looking ones) who perform at these venues. They all looked like refugees from Wacken Open Air with hair down to their rumps. I showed the brochure to whatsisname for laughs, forgetting that he not only sneaks out to LoTR films when I'm not home, but also that he's best friends with people whose idea of a honeymoon was visiting the actual castle featured in some Monty Python film and taking a photo of it which they blew up to two feet square and hung over their fireplace. So now I think he wants to go. He reminded me that jousting is the state sport. Ughh, I had managed to forget about that since I stopped being reminded by one of the aforementioned Eejits I Used To Date, and had just about convinced myself that it was lacrosse instead.
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