When it still had not moved by the third suggestion, I resorted to Plan B, which involved throwing the entire bag and plastic bin down the stairs and yelling for five minutes. It got taken out after that.
Following this episode, whatsisname reappeared to announce (by way of explaining the tardy trash removal, no doubt) that he was going to Home Depot to buy new trash cans because in my absence this past week, our two main outdoor trash cans blew away and he Could Not Find Them Anywhere!!
"Did you look?" I inquired, probably sounding somewhat impatient since our trash cans blow away about once a week, only to turn up later in the backyard ditch or the neighbor's gutter, and be hauled home wagging their wheels behind them like Little Bo-Peep's trashier sheep.
He insisted, becoming rather frantic, that he had looked EVERYWHERE and could not find them.
About an hour later I finally went outside and while standing on the porch, noticed two suspiciously familiar green and beige trash cans sitting about 25 feet away in full view in the neighbor lady's side yard, where she had undoubtedly stuck them to get them the hell out of her own driveway into which they had likely rolled.
So I sent whatsisname over to identify and recover the errant cans. Meanwhile, he had indeed gone to Home Depot and bought two new cans. So we now have a grand total of about seven cans outside and could start a UNICEF for the local raccoons.
I do not understand how a compass expert who spends his days locating mines in remote desert locations can somehow miss a full-size trashcan sitting across the street in full view of our porch. Perhaps embedding some kind of electronic computer-trackable locator on the can would make all the difference. As further pondering is unlikely to improve my understanding, I think I will go stick things with my new felting needles instead.