no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

  • Music:

chained to the PC cookin' up the CDs

This is the time of year when you see about 14 billion posts from people all over teh internetz sending out grad school applications and worrying about getting into their top choices. On the one hand, I understand because I went through an application process for all the schools I went to, and with the exception of undergrad school, which I didn't worry about because I was pretty sure I would get into the two schools to which I bothered to apply, I had to sweat apps and acceptances too, like every other puke. On the other hand, the idea of people going straight from undergrad school into a grad program truly weirds me out. I realize that a lot of jobs and careers require a grad degree for an entry-level slot, including some where you used to be able to start with a bachelor's. I also realize that many people are genuinely interested in studying some subject or getting a grad degree in it. At the same time, I remember quite clearly that at the time I got my bachelor's, I was so sick of school, college, classes, grades, the whole damn game that going to grad school right that minute would have felt like ripping my nails out with a pliers. It was almost a relief that my grades were bad and I figured I was too stupid to go. Not as many people went to grad school in those days and it seemed like many of the people who did were trying to either defer paying back student loans or avoid having to actually go out and get a real job in the real world, both of which reasons just scream L-O-S-E-R to me.

When I did start my Real Grad Program a number of years later, it was in an extension/night program and the classes were taught in rooms borrowed or rented from the local high school in or around Linthicum. This was my first experience visiting what can only be described as a Public High School for Stupid People. My high school was not exactly an intellectual hotbed, but it was private, it did have an Honors English curriculum and a healthy whack of smart rich students trying to get into the Seven Sisters or a pre-med program. If you want a surreal experience, try sitting at an old wooden desk in a classroom where the students...HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS...apparently had an assignment to write and illustrate a one-page essay on who their heroes were, and they did things like draw pictures of guitars on notebook paper and write a badly speeled, poorly grammar'd paragraph on how great and inspiring "Neal Young" (sic) was...and you're sitting under these essays which the teacher has pasted up on the walls. Again if this was a fourth or even a sixth-grade class, fine, but...HIGH SCHOOL...and you're sitting in the midst of this taking notes on Schrodinger wave theory while a football team and a marching band practice under your window, and some cows graze a field or two over. I frequently questioned my entire existence at that point. It got a little better after a couple of years when the whole program picked up and moved down the highway to NASA Goddard, but I will never forget the hopelessness and horror and angst and general anxiety I felt sitting in those no-hoper classrooms after a long day at my less-than-enjoyable (at that point) job.

So forgive me if I don't seem as excited about people going to grad school as is polite. It's just another Tequila Sunrise to me, though after a lot of hard work and weaseling, it all came out OK in the end.
  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded