no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,
no.
roses_rejoice

Little Known Facts, or not

("Little Known Facts" being the name of one of the songs I sang in the high school musical all those years ago when i still sang songs. mileshedgehog prolly can guess which musical that was. ;)

1. Since December, I've been working on running my metabolism back up. In order to do this, I have to eat a lot, for me, but all the "right" stuff which tends to be really inconvenient to make. I also have been working on taking better care of my hair because it was feeling grubby all the time, and also some other things, nails, teeth. These sound like small things, but they take up a lot of time and energy, especially when I have so little free time from work as it is.

2. I don't like, or rather my body doesn't like/can't handle (because my mind has insisted on being all tough and shite, it comes out through my body) being reminded of the most painful times in my life. I train myself to think of those things again gradually. When I'm hit over the head with them, it disturbs my equilibrium to the point where I might seriously need to go to the (physical) hospital. I know I can't stop other people from living their own life - they'll do, talk about and see who/what they want to, it's their right. Therefore it is my right, and it is healthy for me, to distance myself. I learned a long time ago that my health is my responsibility because no one else gives much of a shit or they're too busy fretting about how I'm supposedly upsetting them by my existence or my opinions. If we'd all just look after ourselves and quit expecting other people to ever change, we'd be better off.

3. I am still angry that person(s) I love(d) left me alone. I will probably be angry till I die.

I could go on and on but that's enough. I have to cook steak frite and eat it before I leave the house, and that's tiring and complicated and even a little scary and I would rather eat a few M&Ms and a takeout coffee, even though steak frite tastes good and is so much better for my stomach and the rest of me.

I hope you are all well and happy.
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