no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

Bo0k N0ok.

I should have some dorky little graphics of 0wls with big glasses to decorate that subject line.

I finished reading "Her Mother's Daughter" by that "feminist" writer Marilyn French. It took me a very long time, many months, to finish it, a couple pages at a time. It's a difficult book to read because, like all her books, it depicts a world where all men are nasty, stingy, controlling dweebs who take it out on women when their own dreams don't come true, and all children are brought into this world by accident or at least under mixed feelings and then proceed to sap their mother's lifeblood while said mother struggles with no money and little or no support from the dads to bring them up, and the only happy people are middle-aged lesbians. I'm sure there are women who have had all these experiences, but not in my family, so it's a bit odd to paint such pictures as universal. Then again, I've never been one for economic or any other sort of dependency on a male, so the idea of expecting a guy to financially support any offspring he conceives kinda weirds me out. I mean, I think it's very wonderful when a man IS responsible like that, but from what I have seen, irresponsible people outnumber responsible people by about 100 to 1 and the 99 useless dudes all have working dicks and can conceive just as fast as responsible guys so...yanno.

...edited to add, the concept of female self-martyrdom is pretty universal though, especially in this culture where people, especially women, are discouraged from loving themselves, and Encouraged to give their whole selves up for others...

So now I'm reading "Who Will Run the Frog Hospital?" about some teenage girls in the late 60s living near the Canadian border who get all overly attached to each other. I wonder why so much of "women's fiction" has this women-loving-women theme? I suspect it has to do with the kind of women who go off to school to learn how to write books and pomes and Things. It doesn't bother me, it seems quite natural in fact, but I've never had that kind of relationship with a female. I wouldn't have minded if it had happened, it just didn't. I don't seem to get along very well with other women, and when I say that I mean MOST if not ALL other women, because I've seen a lot of females say that and yet they have like two dozen close gfs so it rings hollow. I think it is hard for me to find a female who wants to be friendly and isn't cold or distant or glued to some dude at the hip to the point where there isn't room for anyone else to get close (I don't mean sexually or relationshipally close necessarily, I just mean Close), But yet is as task-oriented as I am and doesn't get all caught up in emotional insecurity to the point of fussing at me over nothing periodically. You know how I react to anyone fussing. Fuss and you fuss alone. And I have a very low tolerance for anyone's insecurities, including my own. You can check most of it at the door because it's just not productive. It's weird cuz my mom hasn't had a bunch of female fiends either and I think I'm the same as her in that we are so much our own people and always have been, that a lot of the feelin'-held-back that other wimmen bond over doesn't apply. It's not that we never feel held back, but not to the same extent, not the same way, we're proud anyway and it ain't some guy holding us back, it's our innards, and we don't always like to spout about our own innards. Eh this is getting too complicated but I guess if all the coolest chicks are Cats Who Walk By Themselves, like me, then Cats don't walk together.

Oh, also I am still reading "Blankets" and I don't think I'll post about that one any more here 'cuz it's beautiful but it makes me want to throw up and cry and I don't understand how anyone can live that way.

The boss lent me "Longitude" and I ought to read that instead of all this emo tripe.
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