- Two rent-a-cops threatening to confiscate a folding mini-scooter from a 50-year-old businessman in a coat and tie after he repeatedly denied their orders not to ride it around the empty mall.
- A lady with a mustache. We're not talking a little shadow here, folks, we're talking a real mustachio. I couldn't tell if she was a lady in need of waxing, or a dude looking sort of like a lady, but hormones were definitely running amok somewhere. (I always wanted to make an album entitled "Hormones Running Amok" but that's another story.)
- Me late for a meeting on no breakfast eating a cold Shake n' Bake boneless pork chop out of tin foil with no utensils and (get this) pouring Motts Apple Sauce straight from a glass jar onto said chop on a moving train and NOT SPILLING ANY ON ME. Now why can't I pull that off at cocktail parties?
MANG, I SURE KNOW HOW TO HOLD MY APPLESAUCE!!