no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

convenience store-y

well i'm still more or less on unofficial break from posting anything much here, but i did want to tell you all that i just got back from the 7-11 where i saw Hefty Counter Girl #1 changing the cheese in the nacho topping dispenser. it's this giant squirty plastic bag full of cheese with a tube where it squirts out. like a radioactively mutated udder. also, the dispenser had el cheapo ratmeat chili rigged to squirt out the other nozzle, and the chili sack looked like a family-sized colostomy bag.

while the Changing of the Cheese Bag was going on, Hefty Counter Girl #2 (the one who looks like three of my friendsexgirlfriends) was whooping and hollering, "I lost a pound! I went to the doctor today and she weighed me and I lost a pound! I was so happy, and she said, 'What're you happy about losing a pound for, when you're PREGNANT?! Well hey, losin' a pound's ALWAYS somethin' to be happy about, isn't it?"

Also a BFWG (Big Fat White Guy) was arguing with his little chubby nine-year-old daughter (who was dressed in a brand-new Randy Travis concert T-shirt) about whether she could have a snack. He was saying, "All I'm buyin' you is a cup of coffee. You want a cup of coffee? Fine, you don't want one? OK, you want one now? Well it's too late. You already said you didn't want one, I'm not gettin' you one." I don't know when it became cool to feed coffee to kids under 10 but even assuming that it is, the idea of horrible 7-11 coffee as a kiddie treat smacks of child abuse in my book. Maybe she puts 15 flavored non-dairy creamers in it or something.

this post was dedicated to derekfz in honor of his post about Cap's and to danigolden, just because.
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