no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

this is my day to post a lot i'm sorry no not really i'm not

some random thoughts trickling thru my mind

- i don't understand why some people claim to want close friends or an "internet family" or whatever and then pull away from people all the time. do people ever stop to think it's their own behavior that pushes others away from them? i know some of them think this, because they'll say it out loud to me, and acknowledge it, and then we work through it. maybe for the others, i just wasn't what they wanted so it wasn't worth saying out loud how they push people away or how i missed the mark in some other way. it's not a big loss, i'm happy with what i have, but if you don't want something, don't advertise for it.

- the idea of community makes me uncomfortable. i am too much the individual. i've never seen someone who was really into "community" and didn't seem to have part of their identity subsumed by said community. for some of those people and some of those communities, the subsummation is kind of the point, or part of the point: to die to self. now i understand we must die to self somewhat in thinking of others and loving others, but i don't believe in taking it too far. it is in being strong in OurSelves that we live and can give. jesus was strong in Himself. for that matter so were buddha and mohammed and all the other great prophets and leaders. they gave of themselves but there was a Self there to give. i would be more comfortable with community where people all had a Self. maybe they'd be like that Christian writing circle in Oxford. G.K. Chesterton was a rather self-centered bastid from all I read.

- if you're bored or feel boring, then do something to make life more interesting. some people seem to have a gift for this and some people would rather just continue their boring behavior i guess. actually, what people think is "interesting" says a lot about them...

i guess that's enuf for one post, i am wordier than i want to be

it's cadbury egg season agayne. mm mmm good.
  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded