one time I literally got a whole room into an uproar by asking what I thought was a non-loaded question about this subject. thankfully it was an anonymous question or I'm afraid someone would have punched me. as it was, people cried and stuff and I felt like shit even though it was an "engaged encounter" class (mandated by my church as you probably guessed, lord knows I don't voluntarily put myself in those kinds of emotionally manipulative settings) and we were being encouraged to ask anything we wanted about marriage. I only wanted to understand, I wasn't trying to make anybody cry, geez.
i'm disallowing comments on this because I just wanted to get the thought out of my head. I don't want people to try and explain it to me. I just wanted to say I don't understand it and at this point I probably don't want to understand it.