no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

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Hi, we're the Nerves!

Over the last year or so, it's become increasingly clear to me that I can't live in fear that somebody is not going to recognize the value in what I feel/say/do, or is going to like me one week and stop liking me the next week. I think there are people in this world who enjoy all kinds of interpersonal drama, bitching and back-and-forth crap. Maybe that's the way they were raised. I was raised to hate that stuff. If they don't enjoy it, then I guess keeping everybody they run into as a "friend" is so important to them that they're willing to put up with more histrionics than I generally am.

Like I posted last night, my friends are important to me, but my friends are also, for the most part, people who don't cause me anxiety. I don't mean in the sense of never having a problem, but I do mean in the sense of not going out of their way to make a big deal out of nothing or purposefully involve themselves in messy situations with messy people. When somebody causes me undue, unnecessary anxiety, I usually just get rid of them. My health and my nerves aren't worth sacrificing over people who usually aren't able to give back to me the support I give to them. If, for whatever reason, I choose to stay friends with somebody who does cause a lot of anxiety, the best I can do is a combination of avoiding problem areas and not giving a shit. If I lose a friend over that, I guess they weren't much of a friend to begin with. Or we just outgrew each other. So, no big loss, except a little bit of pain to start with.
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