no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,
no.
roses_rejoice

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me

from a response I made to someone else's comment

I was completely uninterested in "dating" from a standpoint of casual social or sexual fun, or looking for the "perfect" one or the "right" one. I was always looking for persons I could have a strong friendship or relationship with and be there for each other like family. I think I'm still that way.
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this is a little scary to post, because i know some people will say it's sick or wrong. and other people will say or think "oh yes i know, i'm that way too" and that will piss me off because i don't like the irresponsible (to me) way they're going about their lives willy-nilly, glomming on to every possible outlet for affection without regard for the Consequences of their Actions and not fixing the things I think they need to fix before they go out and inflict themselves on other people. and i don't want to live my life that way, any more than i want to go around defining myself as Partner To One and putting all my earthly energies into that. there was a time when I thought one look, one encouragement from the Right person and I would have done that self-sacrifice trip, spent the rest of my life just making them happy or running around doing whatever they needed me to do. but the encouragement never seemed to come at the right time and that was just God's way of keeping me out of that trip, because it wouldn't have worked. I would have become resentful. I need to be myself, not Half of something else. I'm three-halfs if I'm a day.
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