It's my accelerator- and brake-pushing leg that has gone bad. Reminds me of that woman in Gail Sheehy's Pathfinders who refused to become a cripple after her ski accident, and stuck a fone book under the accelerator and re-taught herself to drive. I don't miss driving 'cause whatsisname, like usual, will take me wherever I need to go, and there are trains. But still I'll be glad when I can do it myself again, because there are times when you need to do it Yourself. Driving means I can get Myself to the city when he has to go out of town and the trains aren't running. Driving means I do not fear death while I propel a fiberglass capsule at warp speed down a freeway where more ppl buy it regularly than die in any overhyped terrorist action. Driving means I can casually cut across four lanes of California traffic and think nothing of it. Driving means I no longer worry about having to drive an unfamiliar rental car through unfamiliar areas on business or pleasure trips. Driving means no more drivel from buttinskys who deserve a punch in the mouth about how my mother is overprotective and will NEVER let me drive nor do anything else, because she wouldn't let me take drivers' ed in high school because my dad had a stroke that fall and me driving would have been too much worry on the family. Driving means I do not share the odd fear of driving my parents had, the fear that I never understood and that I think was a substitute for other fears like wars and riots and illness and death, the fear that perversely caused my mother to regularly cruise through awful sections of Hough where none of her friends would go, rather than brave the shoreway. Driving means I can take my mom to all the fun places we should have been going back when I wasn't driving and was too hungup on other dumb stuff to think of it. Driving means I will never again be turned down for a job solely on account of not having a car, even though I am more than qualified for it in every other respect and the job is a counter sales job that doesn't even revolve around driving. Driving means I am not at the mercy of some drunk jerk or sex fiend to get where I need to go. Driving means I can drive YOU. Driving means I decide who rides. Driving means I can tell you "NO" when you say, "Cool, you're driving so I can get wasted!" (Actually, not driving was another way of saying that very same thing.) Driving means I can show up when I want and leave when I want. Driving means I don't need you to take me home and I don't have to sit in your front seat after you've hurt me beyond all limits. Driving means I can deal with the vagaries of rental car agencies in many cities. Driving means I can also deal with potholes, hosed-up Yahoo maps and two feet of snow on the ground. Driving means I am unstuck and No Longer Helpless, helplessness being Terribly Unattractive however you want to slice it.