no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

a post about feelings, whoa whoa whoa feel-ings

I have come to the conclusion that I don't like people who hurt my feelings and then either
1) blame it on to me for feeling hurt, or
2) pick that moment, when I say I feel hurt and explain why, to tell me that they've been feeling hurt too but have just put up with it for weeks/months and therefore I should appreciate their big sacrifice by not bothering them.

Both of the above are just attempts by people to evade responsibility for their actions. I'm not the world's most easily hurt person, although if I am fragile for some reason or other (for example, last year I had difficulties communicating through e-mail and/or AIM because of past bad experiences with people who hurt me very much via those media) I will try to explain up front and say so. If you don't think that whatever you did was that bad, fine, we should be able to discuss it and determine whether we can resolve it or not. But simply telling me I'm not entitled to feel the way I do is wrong.

And using my feeling hurt as the excuse/moment to bring up your OWN hurt feelings over something else is just stupid. If you're so hurt then you could have picked an independent moment to tell me so and discuss it with me. Considering that most of the upsetting behavior I've experienced has had to do with people who act all friendly for a while and then basically stop bothering to communicate with me (assuming they ever made an effort to do so in the first place) when they find something better to do or I get on their nerves, I'm not surprised that these people don't bother to tell me that they're feeling bothered, if indeed they are. They don't bother about a whole lot of stuff.
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