no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

today's pre-coffee thoughts

It's disappointing when you meet someone and think they're real cool and then they turn out to be different from the way you *thought* they were, and not so cool at all, and immature or jerky in some respect, and kind of a drag or boring or just Not what the Doctor Ordered. It's not just that the person bugs me for being the way they are, but also that I'm annoyed that my own perception didn't pick up on how they were Really. Then I start backtracking and overanalyzing and going hmmm, well maybe I should have paid attention when such-and-such incident happened and I would have seen...or perhaps there was a warning sign during that conversation and I ignored it because I didn't want to think that, or couldn't accept it.

I have to accept the fact that my judgment is fallible sometimes. It's really hard to do because I think so much and try to make the right decisions up front so I don't have to pay a big emotional bill later. But as whatsisname always says, we have to make most decisions based on incomplete information. We see a tip of something sticking up and have to figure out whether that's a hazardous iceberg or a nice safe buoy, because we can't tell for sure.

The other thing is that people sometimes surprise you. Sometimes they turn out to be a lot cooler or stronger than they appear, although that's relatively rare. More common are people who seem kinda nondescript and turn out to be super neat. So I guess one is going to get a few bad or at least sour apples in the bunch too and I won't sweat it. By the way, just in case anyone needs to hear this, if you're on my f(r)iends list this post is in no way referring to you (except maybe for the part about people turning out to be super neat :D).
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