no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

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Inspired by nullskills, I spent part of last weekend visiting The Colossal Colon Tour in honor of my dead friend, who was highly concerned with colon health. (His unorthodox health regime involved Frank Zappa, booze, frying eggs in Crisco, and occasionally setting a stove on fire, but we'll skip the details.) I got to crawl through a giant colon, which looked like this:

and I even took peektures to share with you all...

Appropriately attired as roughage, I set off for my colonic adventure.

Probably the most intelligent piece of paper Dubya's signed in awhile.

Above are some table games meant to teach you about colon health. The top one had you guide a ball through a maze of holes with a magnet and avoid all the "pitfalls" like eating fatty foods. The bottom one was a slide puzzle of a colon. I disconnected it, of course!

At last we arrived at the giant colon for our fantastic voyage...

Weird Scenes Inside the Col Mine

The little black signs tell you what kind of colon conditions you're crawling thru.

Here's an especially handy-dandy image to send to people who get on your nerves, so they know just what you think they are:

Finally, I emerged safely from my suspenseful journey through the colon, onto the poop deck...

Successful re-entry! Made it, Ma! Top of the Rectum!
(Or is that "Toppermost of the Polyppermost, Johnny?")

Such a nifty colon deserves rave reviews, which were duly left.

So, kids, be sure and visit the The Colossal Colon when it comes to your town! It's completely free, and it's a shitload of happiness :)
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