no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,
no.
roses_rejoice

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The Reason Why (It's not a rankings system.)

Seven da-ay-ay-ay-ays, don't they ever change.

I can’t recall ever dreaming of you. Why is this? I’ve certainly dreamed about people who I loved less. One of them, U No Hoo (especially now that you can surely read my mind), has popped up regularly in my dreams for years on end, much to my annoyance when I awaken. Oh god, not him again. sigh, *groan* I used to always be looking for him in houses and cities all over the globe. Now it’s more likely to be conversations, like a substitute for the conversations we can’t ever have in real life because, well, we just can’t and I don’t even want to try anymore. If people knew about all my dreams they’d probably ascribe all sorts of wrong, obsesso meanings to them, call me stalker and whore, say I was ready for the psycho home. oh wait people already said all those things, nevermind :) yeah whatever. my dreams aren’t for sharing. I’m highly suspicious of people who constantly have to blow all their dreams to the world. “What do you think of this? Could it mean that?” If the dips would sit down and quietly - think – they’d be able to figure out what it meant, in their own heart’s symbol speak. but they’d rather be dips.

And you were right about that guy. you were right about all those guys and about yourself and about me, mostly. ‘cause you’re one of the only people who ever really had a clue about me. and I, unfortunately, was right about all those guys too, and about you. I almost always see the train coming, it’s my job. I think we both saw it coming, and you just wouldn't jump out of the way.

I cry on planes and trains and dream of airports.

eh you prolly don’t wanna hear this but…after about the second time we Hung Out with all that enTailed, whatsisname had a dream about me. which was weird because he never has dreams. actually he has them, everyone does, but being a Bear of Very Little Brain when it comes to that Em0 stuff, he never remembers them. But this one he remembered. We walked hand in hand to the end of a pier and stopped and smiled at each other. That was when I knew, oh shoot my goose is cooked. I will end up with this guy. And I didn’t want to end up with anybody or at least not with him. I was too young for that and in other situations besides, doubtful ones but important to me. It took years but eventually, as Devoto would say, I gave in, I caved in. To the Power of the Dream. I knew I would. you can’t argue with the truth, ruth, when it is shoved in front of your face like a lantern slide.

There’s somebody else I dream about who was always at a distance, playing (well that narrows it down *not* ;-) and I dreamed the whole falling-down saga as a Rolling Stone cover sidebar feature that I was reading while trying to get a train out of Virginia, of all places, before it all happened. Lately when I dream of that party there ain’t no space between us anymore. That was Chuckie’s song, do you remember it? Hello my name is, hello my name is, hello my name is, hello my name is, hello my name is, hello my name is, hello my name is, hello my name is. Show that my mother wouldn’t let me go to. It’s been so many years since we talked. I wish I could dream about you, so you could talk to me.
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