i'd like a pet sea lion. when i was little and went to the zoo, one of my favorite must-do zoo activities was always to feed the sea lions. you'd climb way up to a high platform and the keeper would sell you three slimy fish in a cup out of a big iced cooler of fish, and then you could drop or throw the fish to the sea lions waiting below. that was fun.
would someone like to be my pet sea lion? you can stand under my window and clap and ork and open your mouth, and i'll drop fish sticks into it. or swedish fish. or sushi if you're high-class.