September 7th, 2008

sacred heart of elvis

Things that Do and Do Not Rock, Chapter 793 in a Series.

Avenged Sevenfold cancelled their sold-out B'more show that I'd even had the presence of mynde to buy an advance hard ticket to...the "artist" needs "throat surgery" Look kids, the first thing you need in the myoozik biznatch is a good lawyer, the second thing (if you sing at all) is a vox coach, do I have to spell EVERYTHING out for you? I hope he gets well and they reschedule the show but with my luck it will conflict with some other show that's already conflicting with my work sked.

Even though I now get to stay home and do my laundry and finish something for work tomorrow, This Does NOT Rock.

What Does Rock is Hershey's plain ol' chocolate kisses. The texture is different and better than the Hershey's bar chocolate even. You can't beat 'em. Now I know this makes me a total proletarian because U.S. chocolate is supposed to suck and Euro chocolate is supposed to be SO much better and if I love Hershey's over Godiva or summat it's like I admitted preferring Avenged Sevenfold over the Fiery Furnaces (pause so I can upchuck). Sorry, I like Mr. Milton Hershey's product and it's not just because he became a millionaire who married a poor Irish housemaid and kept his whole town employed through the Depression.

The whole American-chocolate-sux thang reminds me of some British guy's blog I once read where he was complaining about how Oreo cookies taste like something that was digested and shit out and scooped from the toilet and re-eaten and thrown up, which I found hilarious because during the three months I lived in England, I don't think I found one single cookie that was actually good. Cheese, yes, tons. Cookies, nope. Between that and the boring-assed colors of everything on the store shelves and the inability to find any decent coffee, God Bless the USA.
a salty salute

ThiS DoeS RocK ToO.

The last couple days I find myself watching this vid over and over and asking myself why I dig it so much, aside from the fact that (1) it's Kindly (Not-so-very-)Old Uncle Bob and (2) the song has some of the most awesome and relatable lyrics ever written. Here is what I've come up with:

1) It's in black and white film which I love
2) It's clearly shot in Ohio which I also love
3) Everybody in it is managing to look simultaneously very happy (especially about playing music) and deeply Unhappy at the same time, which is pretty much how I feel a lot of the time too
4) All the dancing, jumping around and kicking is truly a thing of beauty
5) Younger Bob in the vid actually does look a lot like That Sculpt
6) The crowd scenes actually look like the band's shows got to look a short while later, or at least those drunken passy-outy routs at the Beachland
7) In short, I just like it, period

Oh, not to throw cold negative beer over a nice posi post, but I'd also really, really like it if every guy recording some kind of poptune out of his basement didn't compare hisself to Guided By Voices. It's been done to death, please stop. I don't care how big of a "fan" you think you are (and if you haven't been hanging out with me the last two years anyplace then odds are I prolly think you're Not).