September 6th, 2008


I'm Savin' All My Bitch 4 Yooooou.

The viewing audience will be Glad to know I don't have it in me to complain abt anybody tonite cuz I used up all my bitchery today on opposing counsel. They started it. Srsly I don't know why attorneys bother writing cutesy snarky letters. One might say it is so I, or someone else, will have to waste good billable time answering them, but the same would be true of an intelligent grumpy letter or an in-yo-face-with-all-due-respect direct "you're a jerk" letter. When I see some lawyer, esp a younger/newer one, attempting to make with thee subtle insinuations I wonder why they bother. Most of 'em aren't very good at it - they think they're being all subtle and crafty and lawyerly and it comes off more like a poop on top of a bowl of salad trying to look like guacamole. I know this because (1) I spend half my nonexistent spare time on the 'net, and if there were ever inheritors of the Dorothy Parker Awesome Snark-mantle, they're found on here, prolly lurking about on LOLcats fora or some fandom wank board, and (2) before they invented the I-net, I was a rockwrita and highly amused by the fine art of skewering some act so masterfully that it wasn't obvious and you could easily argue Klink-stylee you meant nothing, Nothing. That was fun for about a year but after that I grew bored wit' it cuz it was too dern Easy and not that Amuzing and to this day I read very little rockwrite cuz whole sections of Bitchdork come off just like that, just like I used to be, and I associate that with juvenile cynicism and college hyoomor that I left behind like various uncomfortable pairs of cheap shoes and poofy haircuts. I guess wot I'm getting at is, I like when t'other lawyer actually impresses me or does something intelligent and I see so little of that I would wonder how they stayed in bizness except I've also seen the courts and the music bizness and then we have Nashunal Polly-ticks and...need I go on?

Despite all that plus the fact that I pulled two near-all-nighters this week (sometimes it's good for partners to see you scampering to the printer at 4 am, ya dig?) I'm not in a bad mood, not at all. It's raining out which always helps, and 88.1 had a big band show on, with Sinatra singing. I can't believe that man ever had career slumps, he's a classic, and I'm so thrilled I got to see him perform before he died even if we were a bazillion miles away on the Merriweather lawn and he missed one high note on sumthin' - can't remember what it was - but I remember how fast the limos whisked him out of there at the end. He was gone before we were done applauding the last song, it was very impressive. I like big band music in general and always remember my dad playing tons of it while I was growing up, and the winter Dead Guy drove me through the barrens of Downtown with the snow falling and the AM 1940s station on, playing "And he wears a pair of sil-ver wings." I was so in love with him and the city and Days Gone By and it was all Dreadfully hopeless and rather painful, and I'm glad that's over and I can listen to Sinatra in the rain now and just feel happy about it, but if I had to pick Moments to relive, I'd prolly at least think abt putting That one down on thee list. And with that, I shall leave youse, as I have wandered farther afield than planned here and I have to get some sleep naow and Think abt life shite (I do my best thinking asleep) and then get up real early and snipe some Japanese auctions and refinish the furniture.
like woah

You Too Can Be A YOUNGSTOWN!!!!

Stacy Williams owns a three-bedroom house with a full basement and central air-conditioning in a quiet neighborhood on the upper west side of Youngstown, Ohio.

Williams, now 33, was earning $8.05 an hour as a manager at McDonald's when she moved into the house with her husband, a laborer at a construction equipment manufacturer, and son back in 2004. The couple's combined annual salary was $33,000. But the purchase didn't require much of a financial stretch: The house cost $48,000. "If you have the credit score to do it, there's nothing that can stop you from buying a home in Youngstown," said Williams, whose plans for the house include a second bathroom.

*dies laughing*

Ah, the American Dream! I knew there was some reason I was bothering to keep my credit score up. (Actually to be honest I don't look at my credit score because I don't want any more credit and I don't give a rats' urethra, but I happened to peep it the other day due to Amex handing out free looksees and it was a gas. I guess that's wot happens when you actually Bother to pay your bills, and stuff.) Hats off to that lady for buying something that's actually in her price range, but as someone who grew up killing myself NOT to be stuck in a place like Youngstown, "I don't see no dharma," as Cassady's gf sed.

Plus, the idea of actually needing good credit to buy in a place like that when most people buying houses traditionally have utterly shite credit and are buying partly in hopes of improving their scores makes me chortle a bit, sort of like that thirtysomething episode where uberneurotic Ellen (the character I hated the most out of them all, and that's really sayin' something as I only liked the ex-CIA boss and could marginally put up with the artsy chick in the numbers coat - I hated everybody else on that show and blamed people like them for ruining America for a few years, not kidding) fretted abt getting a house mortgage on her own because she had one bad mark on her credit report from buying a pair of shoes and returning them late and the store not taking them off the bill or something idiotic like that, and she was sitting there explaining all this to a bank manager and sweating bullets. I can't imagine having a discussion like that with a bank manager. I don't have time. They don't have time. Just give me the loan or don't, dawg. If you don't somebody else prolly will. Or I'll get by without it.

Considerably more interesting is this article about indie publishers stepping in to fill the gangsta lit gap. I want to read "Larceny" and "A Hustler's Son" now.