|Tuesday, July 29th, 2008|
10:16p - You'll Make It If You Believe.
Heard from tc today. I've been sadly neglectful the last couple months keeping up my end of the correspondence, what with all my travels an' such, tho I did manage to get off a p-card from NYC and gave his snail addy to aswegoupwegoblg who sent a nice card and a book. I hope tc and aswegoupwegoblg know how much they both do/ have done for me. Just having some "adult" friends (read: my own age - not that the younger ppl I know are bad friends, not by a longshot, many of them are swell - but ppl who are still kind of figuring out life, dealing with getting a partner and taking on responsibility and so forth, are in a different headspace than people my age who've maybe checked a few of those boxes, had it come out for good or ill and are now dealing with the results of their choices, and later stages of life/growth/change) who don't act like fakebots, nervous nellies or opinionated know-it-alls when I talk to them helps. And of course it helps that they both actually seem to WANT to talk to me. Little things like, oh, not being made to feel like some kind of gross life-disrupting imposition, mean a lot.
But anyway...yeah I heard from tc today and for a change it was a "happy" letter or at least as happy as one can get in the joint. He's gotten into the dog training program at his facility. I read about that back when I first heard where he'd ended up, that they had this service dog training dealie. Of course I had no idea whether it was a good program or poorly run or whether it was even still going on, but I was thinking that any sort of interaction with friendly animals is often a healing thing in the hospital, so prolly it would be the same in prison. Apparently according to the big T it's a good program, he's getting miles of exercise a day and can really relate to the dogs, who sit in their cages like he sits in his, and he cares a lot about them and about doing his work with them. He's off the antidepressants and feeling better, which is kewl. I would never tell anyone to get off pills if they are actually helping, but every letter I got suggested they weren't helping him, and in fact were just making him feel worse. I think he eventually asked to be taken off. Other than that, he said he was reading a big ol' volume of Gogol he found in the prison library. Gogol, in fact most of the Russian authors, seem like inspired choices for such venues, but given that the places prolly aren't too well maintained and that many inmates don't like to read or don't even read very well, it's exactly the sort of thing that you Don't find in there all that often. He is really digging it. I will have to send him some more along the same lines now that I know they can get books in there. It would probably help if I'd read more Russian literature in my day than just War and Peace and The Cherry Orchard, but I know the cliffs notes summaries of most of those works so can prolly muddle up a good one. Wonder if t ever read Crime and Punishment, har har, not.
Tc said one other thing that hit me, that he had taken some class called "Cage Your Rage" and it was kind of a bust cuz that's one thing that can't be and Shouldn't be "caged". Oh man I couldn't agree more. You need to let it out, in a reasonably socially acceptable way, but you need to let it out. If there is one thing that ALL my journals have been about, it's about LETTING IT OUT before it turns on you and consumes you. Sometimes, it's as simple as calling bullshit on somebody or a group of somebodies, finally saying you don't like what they are doing even if that's gonna carry consequences. Until you get it out on the table, you're gonna be constipated, and that's unhealthy, and it can hurt.
And, in the spirit of that last, here's a quote from somebody else that I read on a friend's b-log:
I loved Cleveland but it didn't love me back.
And here's what I say, most appropriately stolen from the Beatles:
And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to
The love you make.
I'm not up to ending with a Namaste...but I can't quote T quoting Kuda quoting Kerouac and something about a-holes pounding on the doors to our souls without voiding my usericon warranty.
How about "Miss Jackson if you're Namasty"?
I'm in a good mood, yep yep really.
current mood: goode
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