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Tuesday, June 24th, 2008
11:19a - The Bloody Truth.

I just watched the news video of Morva's statement and the widow of the guy he killed, hollering at him. I am trying to imagine how she must feel. If someone killed Ted or someone else I loved I imagine I would want to holler too. I imagine? I do not know. You never know how you'll react till it happens and of course I pray it doesn't.

Unfortunately because this whole business took place in an area where I was made to feel like an outsider, a piece of crap, lower than dirt, something scraped off a shoe and discarded and cast aside, to the point where that, combined with other things like bar exams and lost arguments, means I have to work on not hyperventilating and being sick and panicking when I pass through that entire part of the country, it's only natural I would identify more with the other outsider. Even though, logically speaking, he doesn't seem like he would be too nice to hang around.

I get tired of hiding how I feel, and tired of feeling embarrassed and ashamed when it hurts. End up like a dog that's been beat too much/ Till you spend half your life just a' coverin' up.

I guess I'm through bein' cool.

current mood: sad

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