July 26th, 2004

gay bar doggie

guess what, chicken butt, bok bok

Sometimes I actually bid on the stuff I see on darksideofebay. Don't we all? Anyway, here's a pic of the latest DarkSide thingy I won. (Incidentally, the pic is being posted using the new LJ Photo Hosting beta, so if it looks like I bought a little red X, blame LJ.)

This was advertised as "Weird Haunted VooDoo Looking Turkey Claw Doll" by some zero-feedback seller whose return e-addy was "Misericordia Home Network". I thought maybe it was some basement goth label trying to make a quick buck, but it turned out to be a Catholic organization that provides jobs for the mentally challenged. Likewise, I wasn't sure how this doll would actually look "in person" and was prepared for it to be some cheesy ill-put-together piece of crap, especially since the seller had all these warnings about SOLD AS IS in the advert, but the doll is actually made REALLY well with lovely little crystal and clay jewelry. I don't collect a lot of dolls, I prefer stuffed bears and toys, but recently I've gotten a very few gothy dolls and puppets, and this one certainly fits that bill (bad bird pun). I wish I knew who the artist was - there are no markings on the doll. I just e-mailed the seller to see if he can tell me some more about it.

It has a coconut head and turkey claws for arms and legs, which reminds me of this Pink Holes Christmas show about 1,000,000 years ago where they handed out a few turkey foot pins that somebody made by gluing a safety pin onto the back of the foot. Lucky me got one and of course being homesick as hell and pissed off at life I wore it in to work and forgot I had it on when some boss who was maybe hiring me for his project called me in. (You had to go through this "internal interview" process to get assigned to someone's project, which was incredibly stupid, but at least they let you interview and didn't fire you like LockMart when your assigned program ended...it was still stupid though especially after you'd been through it 100 times.) Fortunately the boss, who was about 60 years old, had a sense of humor and thought the chicken foot pin was funny, so I still got the job. I suppose if I wore that thing out nowadays some vegan would get their tits all in a mangle about it. Pffft.

Anyway, every time I see this doll I want to start singing that S0under song with the hook and the lyrics that keep repeating "Bird, bird, bird, bird" interspersed with "Guess what? Chicken butt!" I'm also tempted to name it Derek Bok-Bok after the former president of Harvard, but I dunno if forcing such elitism on a voodoo coconut turkey is a good idea.
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