July 16th, 2004


Nature abhors a vacuum, cuz vacuums just suck.

I think the amount of time I've been spending online for about the last five years ho-ing after e-mails and LJ-comments and the occasional AIMer Lamer has been some subconscious attempt on my part to make up for the five or so years I spent not talking to much of anybody and "having NO friends" as some cretinous beeyotch (not on LJ) once so coughcoughkindlynot put it. At times I've felt like somebody who's well-fed and maybe even kinda full but who can't stop eating because they were in a prison camp once and can't get their mind around the concept that food is readily available now, you don't have to eat it all in one sitting or hide it up your sleeve.

Anyway I've been trying to go off and do other things, like clean the bookshelves and play mit der katzen. So far I've mostly succeeded in sleeping a lot, which I have to admit I find fun at the risk everyone else will find me boring. Are there people (plural) I can actually trust to still be A Round when I wake up? I think so. Goodness, radical concept, that.
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    knock wood
no melodrama

oh, what a relief it is

to realize that you don't HAVE to be buddy-buddy with everybody. i'm not talking about being impolite or mean or nasty or going out of your way to tell them you don't want to be pals. i'm just saying it's okay to be neutral about, or dislike, people in the sense that you don't want to make them part of your personal life or social life, for no good reason except you just don't have much to say to each other. life is not children's tv, and we're not all a bunch of smurfs who need to like all the other smurfs or die.

of course there are some folks who think you're being two-faced if you don't either "work things out" with the person or else go right up to them and tell them what you think. many in this society have lost the concept of polite distance. it seems to exist only as a professional construct for business people. it ought to exist on a personal level too.

this post is not directed at anybody at all, nor inspired by any present situation whatsoever. it's just something i'm thinking.
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