April 4th, 2004


note to self AND world

I am allowed to have emotions.

I may choose to be quiet about them. I may prefer to keep them to myself. I certainly don't believe in throwing them in everybody's face every three minutes (which is one of my biggest beefs with LiveJournal, it encourages people to do just that instead of either talking to the person the vent is about, or resolving it somehow with less fanfare). But I am allowed to have them. I am allowed to love people. I am allowed to hate people. I am allowed to dislike people. I am allowed to feel neutrality or mild like/dislike for people who, on my personal Richter scale, aren't worth the bother of getting fired up about one way or the other.

The way I feel about someone does not determine their worth to the cosmos, others or themself. It doesn't determine anything but how I feel. And that's OK.

Regardless of what every stupid Strawberry Shortcake/Smurf/Care Bear etc. TV show says, we do not have to like everybody. We may have to put up with them. We may have to get along with them. We do not have to like them. We do not have to include them in our life on a regular basis. I am under no obligation to like all my friends' friends, any more than they have to like all of mine. I may, in some cases, be under the obligation to make my best effort to get along in a peaceful manner for the sake of my friends who I care about. That is good sense, good manners and good for my friends. That is not the same thing as liking someone because they are valuable To Me.

I have to accept that what is valuable To Me is not always valuable To Others, and not get mad or involved when other people dis my friends even though in some cases I'd like to punch their lights out or tell them how stupid they are. In turn, I have to accept that what I choose to throw away other people may find valuable, because we are all different and want different things, and value different things, and in this way all of us can find a Good Place in life. Whereas if we all wanted the Same Thing, life would be boring and there wouldn't be enough of the Same Thing to go around.

No one is more worthy of having emotions than anyone else.
People are not "more allowed" to have emotions because they were once a victim of something (prejudice, divorce, physical attack, other injury); because they have more or less money or power; because they are younger and less mature, or older and more mature. Everyone is equally entitled.

At the same time, being entitled to emotions does not mean others must acknowledge them or must respond in a certain way to them. Because they are mine, after all.