March 10th, 2004

my name is nobody

and now for something completely different (the play's the thing, plaything)

got a package from scottradke today :) i am SO thrilled. ppl from cle or who read visionary_art likely know scott's work, the rest of you can check out his lj/ webpage to see it. a confession: i liked puppet shows as a child, but when i got older i stopped liking marionettes, because the ppl my family knew who were into marionettes, and children's theatre, and theatre in general, were so screwed up they made the musical ppl we knew look like the cast of "Leave it to Beaver" by comparison. but for some reason I like these puppets a lot. I noted that they slightly resemble the doll I got a while back from strangedolls, so there must be some part of me that wants thin, sad-eyed, vewwy quiet goth grrl friends right now.

lately i've been realizing something missing in my life for years, since even before i went back to school. that is, to play. i don't spend enough time playing. in some ways i feel like i never really learned how, because the culture my whole generation grew up in wasn't about playing, it was about Created Demand a la Galbraith, it was about COLLECT 'EM ALL!! And that was so stressful, because no matter how generous your parents were or what they could afford, you could NEVER catch up, and it cast a pall over your playing, that there was always some Big New Thing being advertised that you didn't have, probably couldn't have because you couldn't afford it or it would go off the market before you could get it, and when you got it, it didn't make you that much Happier for very long anyway. Carolyn Knapp wrote about this in her "Drinking" book, the idea that a new toy, a new outfit, a new lover will Fix everything and it never does and we need to start teaching kids that in childhood. that Gotta Get 'Em All! mentality is why i eventually turned my back on Barbie and all her ilk, and avoided the Muffy Vanderbear tables at teddy bear shows like the plague, and looked askance at the American Girl Collection even though I realized that teaching kids history with dolls was sort of a neat idea. I had lots of toys but the most fun I had when i was little was with a cheesy, one-dollar Matchbox doll from Lawson's milk mart. I would take it out in the yard and make little picnics with it out of berries, or build primitive pulley-operated elevators for it in the plum tree. I liked making things and building things. I still do, and I don't get to do it enough esp now that I don't engg anymore.

and i don't like my toys static. i don't like dolls that you can't or aren't supposed to undress, that you can't hug, that are just meant to sit on the shelf or look pretty in their box. I hate that shit. i am so excited about how these puppets of scott's move. i feel like a kid at Christmas and inspired all at the same time.

along the same lines i also joined the blythedoll community, because I liked how Blythe fans make a lot of the clothes and customize their dolls. And because I actually had an original Kenner and liked it a lot even though my mom (who bought it for me) complained that it looked ugly. She thought all the sad, skinny, big-eyed things I loved (e.g. Blythe, Miss No-name, my beloved boyfriend who resembled Miss No-name) were ugly. No accounting for tastes! I will save the Blythe blather for the community but will tell you all (so I don't scare the dolls over there) that I couldn't resist sticking my finger in my Blythe's color-changing eyes and pushing them up until the eye was stuck between colors. So you saw two halves of two different colored eyes with the white in the middle and it looked REALLY WEIRD. Hey, I was 9 years old. Please don't report me for dolly abuse! I swear I've reformed.
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