March 9th, 2004

john + yoko

it's not insomnia, it's a lifestyle, dammit.

part of the reason i'm so tired all day is because, unless i'm completely worn-out-wiped-out tired from being sick/drunk/with little or no sleep for several days/on a ten mile hike/ etc., or unless i'm anxious to cuddle with somebody, i really *hate* going to bed. i spent most of my formative years either staying up half the night in a dorm, or out till 3 am at shows, or sitting up with my mom after dad went to bed. i'd do needlework, she'd do crossword puzzles and fall asleep over them. i'd watch the avengers, the saint, whatever else would come on before the Star Spangled Banner as we didn't have cable then. in those days at my rents' house i did have insomnia because i would spend the whole year living in noisy dorms with cars whizzing past up Murray Hill all night, and then come home and be unable to sleep in a quiet room on a quiet street where all the neighbors hit the sack by 11. mom had to put a bubbly fish tank and the noisy guinea pig in my room so i could doze off without feeling like it was too quiet.

(don't ask me about columbia, it was WAY worse there, not only quiet but DARK because they have an anti-street-light fetish. yick. boy did i EVER have insomnia there, for many reasons. i used to actually pace the floor.)

but i haven't had insomnia, not for a long time, maybe once in a great while after a bad day on the job. i just like to be up. i used to sit up in the Ge and look at the Capitol Dome. i used to sit up at Oxford and look out at the concrete court over Blackwell's great room, that they ripped out a rose garden to put in (bummer) or wander over to the Trinity Library in the middle of the night and read the memoirs of ded WWI flyboys, of which there seemed to be an endless supply. one of these years i've got to get a client in a time zone opposite to mine so i can sit up till 3 am having conference calls. as long as i have a window office (i like to look at the night) that would suit me just fine. as it is, the downside to this sitting up is that my brain doesn't really kick on until 1-2 p.m. i did used to be a morning person but that was when my 'rents made me go to bed at 10 every night.
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Number 1,623,738 on the List of Things I Don't Understand.

People who post on Sunday that their significant other/pet/boss/whoever is satanic spawn and they are moving out/getting a stuffed animal/looking for a new job/whatever ASAP, and then post on Monday that they simply adore the previously devilish entity which has somehow miraculously ascended and is now holding God's own hand. This without a word of explanation regarding the "transfiguration". Nothing like, "X and I had a long talk and we worked it all out." Just "I can't stand X" followed quickly by "X is wonderful. I love X." Which will, sure as you live, be back to "X is on my LAST NERVE" by the following week.

This is not referring to anyone on my f(r)iends list because people who shift gears all the time like that wear me the hell out, so I don't "friend" them or "trust" them or whatever. I mean, I realize that we sometimes run the gamut of emotions about anything and sometimes in the course of a day, but all the time? and posting about it every time mood goes flipflop? um, no.

Perhaps I am asking too much to expect people to make up their minds and be consistent, at least in hard cold print?
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