no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

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We're an American Rant, Woo-hoo...

Dear Free People Catalog,

Why does everything in your fall line look like you bought it from one of those Etsy sellers who cuts up a shirt, a sweater and a jacket and sews pieces of each together into a mismatched top, or transforms their old concert tee shirts into a skirt and attaches a plaid ruffle? This crafty-refugee look would be OK if you weren't turning around and charging 300 dollars per item for crap one could make out of thrift-store throwaways.

Nor is it OK for you to charge 988 dollars for a plain black leather women's biker jacket that any fool can find on eBay for under 300.

Also, who do you think you're fooling with the 400 dollar artificially beat up combat boots covered in studs? Just because they play Rocket from the Tombs' "Aint It Fun" during the NPR financial updates now (someone told me that, I don't listen to it, eughhh, I hope Laughner thinks it's funnier than I do) doesn't mean I'm going to roll over for your overpriced mall-punk shite.

And the turquoise (?) "Arizona Eagle" necklace that is underneath labeled "Imported"? What, did all the real Native American craftsmen down there suddenly die in a fire? Why don't you just get honest and name your cheesy blue 70s retro bird necklace "Guangdong Chicken"? I might buy it, then.

No love,
Person on Day Two of Mismatched Socks Only Discovered to be Mismatched at Hour 10 of Day 1

Hell why should my socks match - nothing in your catalog does. Be sure to steal my mismatched sock concept and charge $100 for it.
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