no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

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Add It Up.

It's July 1. I wonder where I am going to be with my life goals and improvements in a few months, let's say December 1. I have done a lot of positive things in the last few years: made many new friends, changed my eating habits greatly for the better, almost finished art school (less than a month to go), seen a bit of the world, and let go or partially let go of some "friendships" that used to be nice and fun but sadly were running on empty and taking up too much of my internal processing space. I've also proud of being proactive about taking care of problems early on sans drama. Basically if you cross my boundaries or step way out of line now, I'm going to say something and then I'm going to end contact and move on to a person or activity that respects me. I used to agonize more over this and sometimes take months to act but I don't feel like I have the luxury of that kind of time now. Finally, I've become less afraid to communicate. That doesn't mean I'm going to spill my whole life history to you in the first 15 minutes, but it does mean I kan has sum Unlocked Posts naow without worrying too much abt it. I don't have to be the Man with No Name all the time, only on alternate tuesdays :)

Things I still need to work on: EXERCISE, eating better yet, losing some weight (don't expect to hear a lot about this though as I'm more than just a number on the scale and some of the people who post obsessively abt weight and looks - not on my f-list, I won't keep ppl like that on my f-list and have dropped some in the past already, I just want to serve them a nice hot cup of Diet Shutthefuckup), making sure I get good health care (I tend to put this off), and enjoying life without feeling like I need to rush from one thing to the other or spend gobs of money. Learning to relax. I feel like if I take care of some of the weight and health issues, relaxation is more likely to come. Not in the sense that WHOOHOO I LOST WEIGHT, NOW I CAN FINALLY RELAX! I know from past wt loss that doesn't work - you get skinny and everything is basically the same except you're skinny and maybe some assy people hit on you more, which is a big DO NOT WANT for me. If you're not gonna hit on or care about Chubby Me, I don't want your attention when I'm Skinny Me either, and you can just go die and reduce the world surplus asshole supply, SRSLY I hate you. But (getting back to the subject) I do want to get myself in balance and kind of tuned up. I would like to study yoga with Lesley who teaches it now and I don't feel like I can do stuff like that till I get myself a little better adjusted and my mind open and ready to receive.

On a LOL note, I discovered this morning that I actually lost a pound since last week, whereas I'd expected to have put on about 5-10 from the Great Dayton Pizza and Beer Weekend plus pig roast plus the free hotel breakfast which is like 12 kinds of bread products I don't normally eat but which I ate because (a) it was free, (b) it absorbs beer and (c) I like cereal and waffles once in a while. I guess God decided to be kind to me in between diverting the predicted 70-mile-an-hour hailstorm from the Polish Picnic Grounds and making sure the cops didn't come out while the parking lot crew were posing for pictures on the cop car hood.

I need a personal trainer or better yet a life coach. I might get a trainer down the line but for now I've decided to be my own life coach. That sounds kinda fun actually and will save me money. I'm sure there's a self-help book somewhere called "Be Your Own Life Coach". For now I'll just stick with "Changing for Good" which is written in annoying self-help-ese but does have some nuggets in there.

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