no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

In Which We Go to the Park and I Am an Idiot.

Today since Ted didn't have to fly to the desert after all, I decided to blow off class in favor of trying to get some howse stuff done. We were going to Home Despot but I had to eat first because otherwise I will fall victim to the hot dog stand outside Home Despot and uh that's not good. So we went to a salad bar at the grocery store. Then I asked Ted if there wasn't any sort of park around in which to eat our fuud. Preferably one where 15 mildly-violent looking 20 year old stoners wouldn't show up and commandeer the table next to us while I was trying to eet, as happened the last time we tried to eet in a park somewhere off Rt. 40 in about 1988 after I'd been drunk dialed by some guy who I thought was a Married Coworker but in hindsight think was maybe just a drunk guy dialing chix at random who happened to sound like Married Coworker. In any event it was unnerving and then having all these crazy people show up while I was in the middle of trying to eet was worse and I never went to the park to eet again after that, except for Lakewood Park which is not at all scary.

After Ted was done looking at me like I had just asked him to move the rock of Gibraltar a little to the left, he drove exactly 5-10 minutes to the entrance to the local State Park which I think is another arm of the same State Park where we ran into said stoner type ppl only it's a county or so over. Parks in the Corridor mostly go along the river and are like here's a little patch of park Here and then a few miles later along the same river, another little patch of park There. They aren't like one Heap Big PARRRRKKKKK! like the Metroparks where you can drive for hours and get lost (John and I did that many a time) or even like Rock Creek Park (which Ted tells me is like, the same river only in DC). You had to pay 2 dollars a person to get in this particular park patch which was fine with me because the fee keeps out idiots bent on smoking dope, causing trouble and hopefully takes out a few serial killers as well. Yes, you heard me, serial killers. I don't go walking in woods by myself much. I read too many death penultee opinions and tro0 crimes. The other week when I was home the newspaper featured a story about some lady my age in a Cle 'burb who went for a walk in the woods to check out the local flowers and a schizophrenic who was fishing just happened to see her and shot her through the spine, put her in the trunk and drove her screaming down the freeway, fortunately she got the trunk open and dude was all caught and imprisoned and shite but she's still paralyzed if ya know wot I mean. But between the entrance fees (and the fees to use grills, eat in pavilions and just about everything else short of breathe in there) and the fact that there were about three big family picnics and a wedding reception going on, and Ted was around, I felt reasonably safe. We ate our fuud on a nice park bench that didn't seem to cost any fee (the park nazis went by while we were eating and didn't charge us one anyway) and I read my People magazine and messaged on the crackberry and then we went down through the primevally forest and checked out the cute little river, which was so shallow it only came up to the butt end of the six-year-old boy whose dad took him out to play in it. I went wading and of course brought home some rocks.

So I know you are all waiting for me to get to the part where I am an idiot, well some people would say that is 24/7 but in this case it's because this State Park is oh probably a maximum of 1-2 miles from our house and (as Ted showed me as we left) you can drive to it by simply passing the 7-11 and keeping on going and we have been living here since 1990 and I never knew it was there till today. I've been sort of busy, yanno, but yeah, I am a doofus.

The End.

P.S. Ted needs to stop laughing at me when I say "man we sure do live way the hell out in the country." I know we can see Downtown B'more in the distance from the crest of the hill and I know we are located right outside the Beltway but it's still the damn country to me, or at least As Country As I Wanna Be. I'm not interested in living anyplace where there's like one TV channel and no cell fone access, hell even Iceland has more connectivity than that.
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