no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

Lurk Moar, Post Less.

I'm going through a spell of Not Having Much I Want to Say On Here.

Part of it is no doubt due to the fact that I have been worried about my ma, dinged out on cold medication and then having to physically bounce back from going off the cold medication. I rarely take OTC meds any more because I have a small withdrawal from them and, while it's not exactly cold turkey with a cigarette hanging out my mouf, it's enough to make me discombobulated and unproductive for one or two days, and I'd rather not be that way.

Part of it is because I have a ship ton of Projects in my head that I want to accomplish, the vast majority of which have Nothing to do with the Intarnetz at this time.

Aaaaand part of it is because I often feel that I have very little in common with the vast majority of people on Ell Jay, even those I like, or liked. I am not all excited abt buying a house (did that) or having a baby (not doing that), I have no desire to socialize several times a week and even less desire to sit up half the night having heart-to-hearts more than once a month preferably on a Friday, I do not live in a boring little town where the beeg excitement is going to a friend's bar or barbecue, I am not looking to date anyone or marry anyone, and no one seems too interested in the Joy of Writing Briefs in 32 Hours When There's Almost No Law So U Just Pull It Out of Yer Ass In Between Diet Cokes, or whether it might be more fun to be home tying a macrame owl than doing the former.

There is something I want very much in my life right now that is missing from it. I'll give you a hint: it isn't a person. If I could change one thing abt my past life it would be my constant looking To or looking For other ppl to fill in the missing colors. I should've listened to Todd when he sang "That leaves You, You have to do it" but then again he's the same bastridge who wrote "I Saw the Light" and had poly relationships before they were named (I have always been pissed at Bebe Buell for bitching abt that too, when she was off having Steven Tyler's kid and trying to lure Elvis Costello away from the first Mrs. Costello) so wtf does he know, really.

What I do know is that if you're one of these people who thinks some kind of partner/soulmate/connectedness/wotucallit is going to Fix It For You then you're living on another planet than me and prolly smoking something to boot. A monkey don't fix no shit any more than it stops no show.

And yet, there are Good ppl who are Good for things. I called mileshedgehog last night because I felt badly it had been so long since I called her just to shoot the shit, instead of to see if Erika perished in the earthquake or to tell her that danigolden was dead (and lord, that was a Day to End All Days All Right, but if you're my friend you already know that story and if you're not my friend I'm too tired to 'splain right now). I thought I better remedy that issue by calling her up and was reminded of all the reasons we are Frenz such as that she never fusses at me over anything (except G. Lynn but that wuz justified) and that we have places in common and that she has a GREAT world-beating laugh. So yes, ppl like her and Claudia and Lesley and a bunch more ppl I've met and some of you I've not met Yet. Ppl like u are why I'm a Ppl who still needs Ppl. The rest of everyone can go hang.

See you aRound like a donut~
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