I only read this issue of the magazine because it had a feature on Animal Law with cute polar bears on the cover. Polar bears are much much cuter than lawyers, and Al Gore is no dummy. Then I open it up and even Jacob Stein whose column I usually greatly enjoy has got something on the drunkenness of the 5th Street Irregulars (a legendary cadre of lousy DC criminal lawyers who, if you hang around DC and talk to enough old pre-Warren Court types, you never stop hearing about, thus proving that a colorful character will preserve your memory in legal history as much as or more so than mad skillz). Then there's the interview with the Lawyer Assistance lady in her pinky jacket who sez If you think you have a Problem then you probably have a Problem. What was really funny is they listed "Internet addiction" as the hawt new thang right behind drink, drugz and gambling. The reason it was so funny (besides that I'm posting it here) is I read the latest issue of AmLaw right after that and some firm had a big ad in it touting how it was so cutting edge it could protect all yer virtual shite and it showed some hipster (obviously the image of Self that some lawyers would Like to have) moseying down a street in some Second Lifey landscape. Internet addiction, pah. Unless they're talking about looking at porn on there, which I don't doubt some people are addicted to.
Let's put it this way: I largely gave up drinking - there's a Corona in my cupboard at work that I stole from the March Madness party. It's been there for two weeks cuz I haven't had time to drink it. I don't do drugs, never did. I'm dieting again so there goes the snack food addiction. I'm paying off tha resin bill, I quit trying to Have Relayshunshipz, I don't enjoy sex well enuf to pull an Eliot Spitzer, I even walked away from two overpriced handbags I saw up the street. So you can take mah Internet when you pry it from mah cold ded hands. Silly.