no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

Someone Tell Me Why? (doot doot doot...)

As I was just telling someone, I would like to rant, due to work-related stress going on in my life right now. I stress the "work-related" nature of it. It nawt be Drahmah Tymez naow, partly becuz anyone tuning to the drahmah channel gets their plug pulled immediatement when I'm this deep into something concrete and critical.

But NE weighz, rather than ranting, I will posit the Q for the D-scussion:

Why is marriage and a family such an important goal for some people?

Understand now, I'm not asking why finding Someone Special is an important goal. No one likes to be lonely. It is nice to have a Special Person (or People if one chooses) to spend Quality Time with, talking and laughing and scampering through fields hand in hand like a bad 70s movie and doing wotever it is you like to do, whether it be cuddling in front of the telly or having a six-way BDSM leather orgy with syrup on a table at the Waffle House after close.

I just don't get why putting the Official Stamp of Life-Melding Societal Approval on it is so damn important. Ted and I are together. We happen to be married. We were also together pretty much the same amount of time when we were Not married. The marital point is completely moot other than the legal ramifications of property ownership, living wills, and rights to any kids we might have, or perhaps "have had" as I'm not at all sure at this point there will ever be any of those, but it was a possibility we didn't rule out at the time.

I can tell you the two main reasons I got married: 1) so that if Ted got hit by a truck, I would get to stay living in our house that we were already living in rather than having said house pass to his family and me either have to buy them out or get kicked out on the street, and 2) it seemed to be this Great Floating Plastic Inevitable that our families were expecting us to do so I figured I might as well get it the hell out of the way while I was still young enough not to look stupid going through the ceremony. Secondary considerations included the aforementioned about any kids that might result or any health care issues that might crop up, and perhaps a little 10 percent smidge of curiosity on my part as to what being a Spousal Unit (as we've referred to it in our house for the last 20 years) would be like.

Love wasn't an issue. Love is an everyday thing. I don't need a stupid altar or a public affirmation for that. What I really need is somebody to pay the mortgage and get up at 10 am and go buy me a coffee and find some more pitas so I can finish the leftover hummus. (which I am now doing. yum.) The romance part, to the extent I miss that, I can usually find later, but romance is sort of like pigging out on chocolate or getting a booze buzz on. It's fun once in a while, it's not something I want or have time to bother around with every damn day and it's not terribly healthy to indulge in on a regular basis.

Yet I read stuff online or elsewhere about how important marriage is to some people. I think in some cases they are really talking about the 10-am-coffee-and-pita-fetching-type relationship and they just call it "marriage" or "commitment" cuz that's how they think, and in other cases they or their parents have had some kind of marital failure in the past and they're obsessed with getting it Right the same way I was hungup on proving I wasn't a dumbass just because 20 years ago I only pulled a 2.85 cum (i abbreviate it that way on porpoise) GPA at Case in a bachelor's curriculum that 2/3 of the rest of the class flunked out of.

Occasionally I hear or read people saying that Marriage is the Ultimate Public Expression of Love and Commitment Blahblah and I think they sound like my mother and not in a good way and for me the Ultimate Public Expression of Love and Commitment is pita-fetching and access to somebody's bank account, which I may or may not remove money from, and in fact if I love them I probably won't, but it's the principle of the thing. Let's focus on realities here, and leave the emo crap to the em0 kidz, and you know w0t I think of em0. It doesn't pay the light bill.

Erm, I have rambled long enuf, what does anyone think? Does anyone think? (No one ever talks on this thang on weekends.) Do It Nicely Now!
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