no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

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When one lawyer falls on its ass, the whole world applauds.

I paid back some karma this noon as I was dashing for a taxi when my suitcase, which is overloaded with patent bar crap, twisted around funny, causing me to lose my balance and fall completely off the curb landing mostly on the sidewalk on my butt and back. Paging Allan Funt...I am sure the taxi line was probably either amused by this or else was thinking "dat bitch be drunk, she better not be gettin' in my cab uh-uh." At least it wasn't raining or snowing so no puddles to land in, and my lunch - fortunately I didn't order any sort of drink in a cup - only spilled within its plastic bag and not on me (esp since this is a Workday and I'm in my good bizness drag, including a cashmere sweater that I haven't worn in so long I put it on upside down this morning - it fit pretty much the same way as rightside up, just there were a couple seams in weird spots).

As I was admiring the blue sky from flat on the pavement, a doorman in a suit came rushing out of the bazillion dollar waterfront condo complex in back of me to pick me up and see if I was All Right, Ma'am, while two other lawyerly types stepped past my semi-prone self and took my cab. I assured Doorman that I was fine and added, "Good thing God gave me a fat butt to land on" at which said doorman failed to laugh or even smile. I guess he either has a problem with God or fat butts or else he was just overly worried abt his employer's potential liability. Hey, the other week I also slipped and fell completely out of the bathtub with my butt on the tile floor and my knees draped over the side. I hope I don't break a hip like old ladies tend to do, they'll have to shoot me like Old Yeller then I s'pose. But anyway I got the next cab and am now safely ensconced on the train to Horrible Virginia eating Hershey kisses and jalapenos, and everything is cool, except I just stupidly rubbed my eye with my jalapeno hand. Just thought I'd share!
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