At which point I realized that I did lose somewhere between 12 and 15 lbs last year, and that I am currently within 5 lbs. of my weight when I bought these jeans, and that furthermore they are HANGING ON ME LIKE A SACK and I can easily get my whole arm down the middle and the zipper is STILL acting up. And then later I saw this 250-lb woman in a pair of jeans the size of a small camping tent that looked like they were spray-painted on her spare tires and HER zipper was not going ANY BLOODY DERN WHERE.
So, yeah. It ain't my stomach, it's a defective zipper. And given that these pants came from one of those uber-serve-the-customer joints that take stuff back whenever you have a beef with it regardless of how long it's been, these are getting Returned to Sender like a fat Elvis.
I wonder how many other things I've been blaming myself for that aren't my fault.
HINT SWEET HINT.