no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,
no.
roses_rejoice

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It's not me, it's the demned ZIPPER.

This week I've been wearing this pair of jeans I've had for over 10 years now that zip up the front. And sure enuf, as usual, the zipper has been sliding down at a moment's notice. Like, when I stand up. When I sit down. When I get in and out of cars. Et cetera. And, as usual, I was thinking, "I must be too fat for these jeans. I guess I should lose another ten pounds and then maybe that won't happen anymore."

At which point I realized that I did lose somewhere between 12 and 15 lbs last year, and that I am currently within 5 lbs. of my weight when I bought these jeans, and that furthermore they are HANGING ON ME LIKE A SACK and I can easily get my whole arm down the middle and the zipper is STILL acting up. And then later I saw this 250-lb woman in a pair of jeans the size of a small camping tent that looked like they were spray-painted on her spare tires and HER zipper was not going ANY BLOODY DERN WHERE.

So, yeah. It ain't my stomach, it's a defective zipper. And given that these pants came from one of those uber-serve-the-customer joints that take stuff back whenever you have a beef with it regardless of how long it's been, these are getting Returned to Sender like a fat Elvis.

I wonder how many other things I've been blaming myself for that aren't my fault.
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