the worst part of losing this ass (speaking as a woman who has loved many an ass in her time) is losing who you thought that person was - not who that person really was.
cus who you thought that person was really did rock - and who that person CLEARLY is really does suck. objectively speaking (. . . that is not how grownups treat one another, trust me.)
so grieve the loss of who you tried to make him be - and grieve away until there is no more grief...... and remember that you are grieving your own sweet fantasy of that ass. you are not grieving the ass itself.
and i would add that it does not matter how many people continue to think that some ass (male or female or anything in between) rocks, that they are great and sweet and kind and the soul of wit and wonderstuff. they were an ass to me. objectively. not by some subjective standard of eggshell-skulled assitude. THEY WERE REALLY AN ASS, and they will always be an ass no matter how big their fan club gets.
i know it. no further proof is required.