no. (roses_rejoice) wrote,

Quoted from a f(r)iend's journal...

"So, I tell him that he's got a choice. He needs to just accept me and the way *I* choose to live my life or admit it goes against his beliefs and walk away."

I am always happy when I see anyone doing this, especially a woman. I think too many women have the tendency to try to become what other people think they should be, or take judgments to heart in some way, because they fear being alone so badly. Having someone walk away from you sometimes feels empowering, sometimes feels unpleasant, sometimes it's just a good riddance to bad rubbish, but in any event it's difficult, and not encouraged by our society (even the Saturday morning cartoons stress acceptance by the group by showing that anyone who wanders off from the herd gets in trouble and needs rescue).

I am particularly saddened by the number of women who will abandon not only their sense of self, but their own values and other people in their lives, just to get into some partnership with a man. HIS life becomes THEIR life. HIS values become THEIR values. He dictates, sometimes in very subtle ways---more subtle now that it's not so socially accepted for a woman to be an extension of a man---every facet of their life together. I always think the females who buy this package do so because it's somehow easier to just jump someone else's train than go through the hard work of making their own self and living their own life, which might include aloneness. And we're all supposed to accept this and cheer for this because Oh, They're SO Much In Love!! Phooey. Ah well.

I applaud you on being able to say this to someone, and hope you say it many more times, or better yet meet people to whom you don't HAVE to say it :-)
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