I am honest with myself now, and with others as much as I can be, because I don't want to end up like in that song
I don't want to have to "hurt myself today/ to see if I still feel"
I just want to feel
It's a bit of an art form when you've spent years burying it
The thing is, sometimes hurting yourself is what you do instead of hurting others. because the way that you feel is going to hurt them if you let that out. and all the time you're holding in, you're thinking how unfair it is, that they think it is OK to hurt you and go on their mery way, but oh man you say or do some tiny thing that upsets them and it's like the world is coming to an end.
people have huge senses of entitlement when they get the idea that life has been Bad to them
i don't necessarily exclude myself from that group
but I do hope to remain reasonable about it